Reprints of DoS/Dueling Today
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Subj: DoS TODAY, Vol. 2, Iss. 6
Date: 95-02-05 19:57:40 EST
From: DoSEditor
To: Gobbo, GracianaDS, GrayMax, GreyHunter, Grimjk
To: Grynreed, HaIo, Harkur, Havenhuntr, Icharus
To: ITMfan, Jade One, Jayachin, JayneLaMer
To: JeremyKane, Jonalyn, JSVRamirez, Kael Grai
To: Kalamere, Kaleha, KatarinaM, Katholly, Khalos
To: Kitiara, Klytus, Lady Aleah
CC: Lady Finch, Lancefire, Laurelene, LaydeBeth
CC: LdyNiniel, LdyPotion, Levrette, LoneJustic
CC: L0RD CHA0S, Lord Hrvst, LordTomlin, LordZephyr
CC: MadDwarf, MadMadMax, Maladren, MALICHIE, Maloria
CC: Mamusia, Matth92128, Me Monk, Merilsa, MerissaAnn
CC: MidnytBlue
((Ok peoples... the freaking mail system is getting to irk me quite a bit.
I've wasted a precious lot of time and money trying to upload four of these
to you all, so until the mail is finally out of bugdom, you're all getting it
as mail. I know it's a long scroll, but if you're having as much trouble
downloading as I have been uploading, I hope you'll bear with me. Oscar))
::On the cover this week a photo of Lady Arane holding her sword in a dueling
stance, the light glinting off the blade. Over this reads DOS TODAY::
* * *
DoS TODAY Volume 2, Issue 6
Contents:
Letters to the Editor page 2
Advert for Falire's Chimney Service page 3
Editorial page 4
Advert for The White Rose page 5
Report on Duel of Fists page 6
Advert for Gloin's Weapon O-Rama page 8
Advert for Arelia's Trinkets page 8
Simini's Swords page 9
Advert for Music is Magic Nightclub page 11
Photo spread page 12
Advert for MidnytBlue's Garden page 14
Ask Dr. Stupid page 15
Advert for Guytar's Gore page 17
Late-breaking News page 18
Staff: Oscar Madison, Editor in chief
Broadway Dan, Associate Editor (photos by Dan so stated by a BD)
Hedda Hat, Columnist
Simini, Columnist
Dr. Stupid, Advice Columnist
Jake Thrash, DoF correspondent
* * *
page 2
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR:
Dear Sir,
First I would like to compliment you and your staff on the last
two issues of DosToday. They were informative and well written.
In both issues their were rebuttals of previous statements made
in your magazine. In your last issue the were two erroneous statements that
involve me. Let me point out that neither of these statements are attributed
to the staff of DoS Today.
In your letters to the editor there was a letter from one
LoneJustice of carebear descent. In it he states that I am not the ArchMage
who cursed Toyland (Thank goodness for that). He then goes on to state that a
previous ArchMage is to blame. There has been only one Archmage in the
history of DoM (a limited history at that). If there is some other ArchMage
involved perhaps, as champion of the carebears, Lone should seek him out in
whatever forum he exists.
Secondly, the statements made by Wizslinger in his interview
are totally in error. The Duel that led to my attaining the title of Arch
Mage had no subterfuge involved whatsoever. The implication in regards to me
personally is of little consequence. However the tarnishing of the Arch
MageShip must be answered. My opponent not only knew who I was and what
spells I had but she also was aware what would occur if I won the duel. There
are several witnesses to this including the person I dueled. I hope in the
future people will weigh their words carefully when giving opinions about
events they were not present for.
Respectfully,
C. MacLeod
Arch Mage
Duel Of Magic
* * *
page 3
Tired of climbing up your chimney and emerging covered in soot?
Tired of going for a romantic slide down your chimney with your sweetheart
and tasting sooty lips at the bottom? (Or maybe on the way down if you're an
expert.)
Then give me a call at 1-800-CHIMNEY. Our operators are standing by
(mainly me, and I'm not fully operational), waiting to hear your pleas for
help and come rushing to the rescue. And we're cheap! In fact, we usually
forget to collect payment...
So be the first in your neighborhood to have a clean chimney. That
neighbor may always beat you in the yearly Xmas lawn decorations contest, but
you'll be damned if his chimney's cleaner! Remember, 1-800-CHIMNEY. Call
now. Or later, just call!
(Paid for by a grubby old man that just wanted to be left alone.)
(In case there's any confusion... the preceding was from everyone's favorite
chimney sweep, Falire)
* * *
page 4
"You can talk, you can talk, you can bicker, you can talk..." (<-- mention in
the next issue to the first person to correctly identify where that comes
from and where it happened)
I had a nice boring editorial all written up about the Overlord's drowning
but then he came back, so I was stuck. I hear there is a big fish dinner at
Max's place though. But flipping through my logs, I note there's too much
dissention among all you duelers to have a good time together at a fish fry.
It would be nice to say that folks are blameless in these little brouhaha's
that pop up every so often, but I haven't seen any examples of that yet. No
names, no explanations of the situation, all I'm trying to say is, we all
come here to have fun! Seems to me though over the last few weeks there's
precious little fun going on despite the great efforts of the Overlord
himself. Who can honestly say that Max's efforts at charging for duels and
skimming the profits hasn't been fun? And in Max's brand of humor no
feelings get bruised. No prides get smashed. It is good honest silliness.
And Vixxenish! There's a woman who ought to get a medal for lunacy in DoS.
She comes in with her deadly dueling whatever, her bag full of anything
conceivable (and no that's not babies), her mooses in the closet. Who's
feelings are hurt when she's around? Dark Axe's when she accidently runs
over him with a bus? I doubt it.
How about leaving all the petty bickering at home next time you come to
DoS? If you lose, don't whine about it. If you win, don't lord it around
like you're the next best thing to beer and pizza for breakfast. How about
paying to have a little fun with a few friends without cutting people down?
Surely we the citizens of RhyDin are bigger people than that. Making other
people feel small is a Kindergarten trick, and I always thought all of us
were better than that. Aren't we? Ok then, go out there and prove it. And
if other people are having fun and you don't agree with their brand of humor,
ignore 'em. It may take awhile, but their attentions will wander to
something else, or they will leave.
And that's all I'm going to say on the matter. No... one more thing. If
you think someone's feelings might be hurt by what you're saying, don't take
someone else's word that they aren't. Ask them yourself!
But then that's just my opinion...
~Oscar Madison
* * *
page 5
<<<<------------------------------------------>>>>
THE WHITE ROSE
Catering and other hands on activities.
Centrally located in downtown Rhydin
between the Red Dragon Inn and the
StarsEnd Bar and Grill.
Walk-ins welcome, appointments appreciated.
---/--\-%{@ Bria Thorne, owner and proprietress
<<<<--------------------------------------------->>>>
* * *
page 6
Diamond in the Rough
There has been a lot of excitement over in the Duel of Fists lately. Up
until just a few weeks ago, the DoF didn't yet have a "top-ranked" fighter to
equate to DoM's Arch-Mage or to DoS's Overlord at all. But they got the best
Fist fighters together, and they had a tournament to name one of their ranks
into the "Diamond" rank. Unlike the single elimination of similar DoS
tournaments, this tourney was everyone vs everyone, the one with the most
victories becomes the Diamond. As it turned out, two of the fighters won
twice and they met for the final battle.
The final duel for the Diamond took place between PrinceFyre and Dark Axe.
(On 15 Jan 1995)
At the onset of the match, although not announced officially, PrinceFyre
was the favorite to win, as Dark Axe had never won a match against Fyre.
Not to be counted out however, Dark Axe provided watchers with the
following:
PrinceFyre Dark Axe
---------------- -------------
round 1 Fancy Flip Fancy Dodge <--- each scores an adv
round 2 Jab Jab <--- each scores a
point
round 3 JumpKick LegSweep <--- no score
round 4 Jab Fancy Dodge <--- DA scores a point
round 5 Fancy Dodge LegSweep <--- DA scores a point
round 6 SpinKick Jab <--- DA scores again
round 7 Fancy Leap Chop <--- DA scores and wins
Final score: PrinceFyre 1 - Dark Axe 5
Note: One difference with DoF as opposed to DoS, in DoF when an adv. is
scored, it has no point value unless the dueler scores another adv. in the
next consecutive round. So the adv.'s scored by both opponents in the first
round were lost.
Congratulations to Diamond Dark Axe!
The scores:
Dark Axe over JakeThrash 5 to 4 in 7
JakeThrash over Siera Red 5 to 2 in 7
Siera Red over PrinceFyre 5 to 2 in 7
Dark Axe over Siera Red 5 to 0 in 8
PrinceFyre over Dark Axe 5 to 3 in 8
PrinceFyre over JakeThrash 5 to 3 in 10
in the Diamond Quest, this left things as follows
Dark Axe 2:1
PrinceFyre 2:1
JakeThrash 1:2
Siera Red 1:2
To determine Emerald Ranks 2 and 3...
Siera Red over JakeThrash 5 to 4 in 7
To determine the Diamond...
Dark Axe over PrinceFyre 5 to 1 in 7
Rankings will now be like this...
Diamond - Dark Axe
Emerald 1st - PrinceFyre
Emerald 2nd - Siera Red
Emerald 3rd - JakeThrash
Emerald 4th - Dare Ltan1 (he was unable to participate in the tourney)
After Dark Axe won, Stephen (PrinceFyre), Siera Red, and Jake got very, very
drunk, an event which prompted the very first Diamond Quest Hangover.
Editor's note: If you have information you'd like to see published about any
of the duels offered in the free form area, do feel free to write in and make
a suggestion. The editors are always willing to hear about new ideas or
receive new information. Also we'd like to apologize to the people involved
with Duel of Fists for not knowing about the big match. Write!
* * *
page 8
::a small ad appears on the next page::
Gloin's Weapon-O-rama
Servicing the greater RhyDIn area for over 146 years
Sharpening and Cleaning Service
New and Used Weapons Sales
Consignments Negotiable
No job too small
Specializing in Swords and Axes
Ask about our exclusive "Tempered Mithril" coating process
"Shop conveniently located 3 doors south of the Red Dragon Inn"
=======================================================
::white roses with red spots circle the ad::
@ @ @ @
ARELIA'S TRINKETS
for all your dueling needs...
If she can't make it, it can't be made.
Exclusive supplier of Potion's Miracle Salve
Now featuring the latest in Leather Fashions, Eye Protection, and Scatterguns
in honor of the new
Overlord
The shop is located conveniently next door to the Red Dragon Inn and the
dueling basement.
@ @ @ @
* * *
page 9
The following is the first of an ongoing series of articles featuring various
duelers and their weapons. If you would like to see the story of your blade
(broomstick, dagger, submachine gun, etc) appear here, please get in touch
with Simini 0 via email...
The first installment features A'lgic Nist, the blade wielded by Lady
Arane. Arane is somewhat of a newcomer to DoS, and the story of how she
acquired her ancient weapon is an interesting one indeed...
Lady Arane is the first-born child of the King and Queen of Menya. But...
the humiliation of having a first-born girl-child was great enough that the
King and Queen told their subjects that the child was a boy, although sickly,
and that the boy died a few days after his birth. Arane was raised as a
palace servant, never honored with the title of Princess.
The Queen had two subsequent children, a boy and a girl, and Arane was
allowed to play with her younger brother and sister on occasion. Many times,
she heard the King tell his son stories of the magnificent A'lgic Nist... the
centuries of battles it had seen and honor it had defended. "Someday this
sword will be yours, my son, when you become King as your fathers before
you," he said.
The young woman listened to these stories with great interest, and
eventually saved up enough money from her meager wages to buy a simple sword
of her own. After much practice, she confronted her father and told him that
as the eldest child, she wanted A'lgic Nist for her own. The King laughed at
her, telling her that a simple girl such as herself had no use for such a
sword, and that it rightfully belonged to her brother.
Arane responded by challenging her brother to a duel, the stakes being
ownership of the coveted blade. The King still laughed at her, but agreed to
the challenge, and amid much snickering, laughter and doubts, the duel was
arranged.
In a private match, Arane defeated her younger brother, who had never
shown much interest in the sport. After accepting the hilt of A'lgic Nist and
claiming her rightful title, Arane was asked to leave the country to spare
her brother, the future King, any further embarrassment.
Arane is the first woman in its centuries-long lifetime to ever wield the
honorable blade, a claim she is proud to make.
* * *
page 11
The Music is Magic Nightclub, for the best music, food and drink in RhyDin.
Regardless of your dueling preference (swords, magic, fists or spectator),
and your musical preferences, the Music is Magic Nightclub has something for
almost everyone. Stop by, sit back, and relax after a hard evening of
dueling. Enjoy the relaxed ambience of the most successful nightclub in
RhyDin. Stop by our gift shop where you can get a variety of music-related
items, and help out the RhyDin Orphanage and the Halfway House at the same
time. (A portion of the proceeds goes to these two establishments.)
Unless otherwise specified, a portion of every evening is under an "open
mike" policy. Impromptu performances are always welcome, as long as they are
within the bounds of propriety. (No TOSables).
(Music is Magic Nightclub, message board in From the Dragon's Mouth)
* * *
page 12
All photos by BrdwayDan :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Look for the SPECIAL FULL PAGE PHOTO!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picture: <<Dimly seen through a blue haze, Merdav is getting hit by Blue
Jinn's high cut>>
Caption: Merdav's slash goes wide as his vision is obscured by Jinn's blue
smoke.
Picture: <<Blue Jinn is holding his ear, as Merdav swings his sword wildly in
front of him>>
Caption: Closing his eyes to clear his blocked vision, Merdav's high cut
finds its mark as Blue Jinn tries to float to one side.
Picture: <<Simini's sword slides sideways around Phlag V, catching his sword
and deflecting it back at him>>
Caption: The patented SimStop hit works admirably on Phlag's
testosterone-filled thrust.
Full-page Picture!: <<Falire is about a foot off of the ground, having jumped
up, with his sword raised above his head. His muscles bulge as he brings the
sword down vertically at Glorhenath's head. However, Glor's sword is held
parallel to the ground and above his head, in the path of the oncoming blade.
Blood drips from several cuts to his middle, and a small pool of red lies at
his feet>>
Caption: Falire's fanciest high cut loses out to Glor's fanciest lateral
parry.
Picture: <<Shadowrun's blade swings low, almost touching the floor, neatly
avoiding Dark Axe's blade at waist height>>
Caption: The Bishop sweeps into a Fancy Circ Parry of his own, but DA shreds
it with a Slash!
Picture: <<E Core 008 spins his sword into a cone shape, with the point of
the cone towards him, attempting to sweep OIC Blank's sword back at him.
However, Olak sends his sword up, and into Elijah's forehead>>
Caption: Elijah stop hits and gets whacked by Olak's high cut.
Picture: <<LtLelf's sword is knocked down into the ground by Rogan Moon's
blade>>
Caption: Elf's Thrust is swept wide by Rogan's Circ Parry for the advantage.
Picture: <<E Core 008 is lying on the ground, with OIC Blank standing above
him>>
Caption: Elijah tries to retreat sneakily with a Fancy Disengage but Olak
trips him with a low cut and wins!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Look for an extra-special bloody DOUBLE CUT photo spread next time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* * *
page 14
::page opens on a picture of a garden::
MidnytBlue would like to announce the opening of her Healing and Tarot
Garden. Duelers and others welcome. Please see her folder "Healings and
Taort" in Stars' End Sector.
* * *
page 15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ask Dr. Stupid!
DoSToday's New Advice Column
Dear Dr. Stupid,
How do I get back my sword, after I high cut and my opponent lateral
parried it straight into the ceiling?
-Unarmed and uninformed
Dear U and U, and even u too,
I checked the Inn's Charter, and apparently your sword is now legal
property of the Red Dragon (the one who sits on the roof). You can try
getting them back from him, but I'd advise against it, as I found out that
red dragons can breathe fire.
-Dr. Charbroiled
Dear Dr. Stupid,
You mentioned in your last column that Kairee gets the ale for the basement
from another dimension, filled with beer. Can I get there?
-Thirsty
Dear Thirsty,
Yes, but you have to bring a straw... and me.
-Dr. Stupid
Dear Dr. Stupid,
Good day. Let me introduce myself. My name is Mathieu Jurgenson, Germany's
Prime Minister. This letter is to assure you of the liking and the attachment
I feel toward your comic.
Yours faithfully,
Mathieu Jurgenson
Germany
P.S. You should print this letter. I am sure it will advertise your column
in my country where I am famous.
Dear Sir,
This is terrific! What an honor! Imagine, the Prime Minister of Germany, a
fan of this column! I am truly overwhelmed. I thank you deeply, sir, for
gracing this column with your distinguished presence. I can't wait to tell
Mom...
- Dr. Stupid
Dear Dr. Stupid,
Good day. Let me introduce myself. My name is Mathieu Jurgenson, Belgium's
Prime Minister. This letter is to assure you of the liking and the attachment
I feel toward your comic.
Yours faithfully,
Mathieu Jurgenson
Belgium
P.S. You should print this letter. I am sure it will advertise your column
in my country where I am famous.
Dear Sir,
And now, the Prime Minister of Belgium! Wow -- and the very next letter in
the stack! What are the odds of that happening? Sir, I am very deeply honored
that you have a liking and an attachment towards this column. I feel very
moved and privileged. Thank you, a thousand times over, for writing to honor
me like that.
(Amazing. The Prime Minister of Germany AND the Prime Minister of
Belgium... and in consecutive letters! Let's see what the next letter is...)
-Dr. Stupid
Dear Dr. Stupid,
Good day. Let me introduce myself. My name is Mathieu Jurgenson,
Switzerland's Prime Minister. This letter is to assure you of the liking and
the attachment I feel toward your comic.
Yours faithfully,
Mathieu Jurgenson
Switzerland
P.S. You should print this letter. I am sure it will advertise your column
in my country where I am famous.
Dear Sir,
Unbelievable! The very next letter in the pile! I can't imagine the odds
against this... and all of them deciding to write at the same time and say
the same things... and I'm just now noticing that
they all seem to have the same typewriters... and the stamps on the envelope
are even the same and... uh...
Wait a minute.
You think you're pretty smart, don't you? Thought you'd put one over on ol'
Dr. Stupid and make a laughing stock of him in DoS Today. You should know
that, because of my diligent efforts, no one ever laughs at anything in this
magazine.
You might fool someone else but I'm too smart for you. And I want you to
know I think this little trick of yours is disgraceful. Imagine, the Prime
Ministers of Germany, Belgium and Switzerland all getting together and
signing the same name to their letters, just to make me look foolish. You
guys should be ashamed of yourselves.
-Dr. Stupid
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Stupid answers questions, solves problems, and drinks a lot, but not in
that order. If you have a question about anything at all, please send him
mail, cash, or booze by way of BrdwayDan, who will pass the mail on to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* * *
page 17
::the page opens on a photo of halfling Guytar standing with one hand on the
hilt of his sword, the
tip of which is on the ground. The runes on the sword are stained with bits
of red. He is wearing
his elven armor with a large button on it. In his other hand he is holding
out a bag full of amber
fluid.::
Buy my bag o' gore!
Have you ever been to a match with is completely made of defensive moves or
where the
opponents just dance a lot?
Here is your solution!
You can throw it at a friend!
Juggle it!
Or for that special vampire in your life... it is guaranteed pure and safe to
ingest.
It's only two gold pieces a bag... (the stuff o' life)
Are you a commoner?
Do you get sick of being put upon by warlords?
Do you see all those "Amaltea for Overlord" buttons and wish you had a
button?
Well now for the very first time, you can buy my "I'm a future warlord"
button.
That's right. Let them know!
Show them that you are no common commoner!
Just one copper!
Buttons of all sorts made upon request!
For all this neat stuff and more, come see GUYTAR or if he's not around you
may see Crodo foe.
I would like to give credit to Dare Ltan for showing me that there is a
market out there for my
stuff.
* * *
page 18
LATE BREAKING NEWS:
Out of Retirement! Cullen Kildarby, affectionately known as Cryptkickr has
his bones out and is back in the dueling ring again.
Rayniaxs, newcomer to the rings has really begun to enjoy the sport and is
moving up in rank. Warlords should beware.
Serrin, well known silent bounty hunter is also beginning to win in the rings
and what about that Merilsa? Didn't she used to be the perpetual commoner?
Isn't that her up there at Master at Arms? Next thing you know, Bapheloc
will be a warlord.
HOW TO FIND THE STANDINGS and the RULES:
Since the message boards were changed recently many of you out there have
been having trouble finding the standings. Here's how to get there:
Keyword: RDI --> FFGF News and Info --> Game Information Center
Also posted there are the rules, and a handy little guide to etiquette that I
know none of the readers of this magazine need to worry about, but since they
went to all the trouble of writing it, we ought to at least give it a look.
:)
To contact the staff:
Oscar Madison - email DoSEditor
Hedda Hat - email HeddaHat
Broadway Dan - email BrdwayDan
Simini - email Simini 0
Dr. Stupid - email BrdwayDan (who hires a room out to the drinking doc)
General letters and comments or new ideas should be sent to DoSEditor.
Happy dueling :)
* * *
Disclaimer:
DoS Today is an independently produced magazine in no way affiliated with the
official DOS
game, the Free Form Gaming Forum, or AOL. The information herein should not
be considered
the views of AOL or its staff.
Thank you.
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