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Sapphire: We're baaaaaack [horror movie stabbing sound clip] and here to discuss the Eastern Conference for Madness 2017. Starting off the battle there in the Valmion Division is the lovely, the amazing, the fierce, the unbeatable Ellisa Morgan at #1. [stage whisper] Hey Ellisa, was that nice enough? [normal voice] She'll be facing Anubis Karos, another favorite uncle of mine, at #5. Gotta say, kind of glad I didn't win against Ellisa. Don't think Uncle Nubi would forgive me for kicking his butt in the rings.
Eden: How many uncles do you have?
Sapphire: [laughing] Pretty much half the people on the Madness list this year. Mom and dad never bothered with a baby sitter. They'd just bring me along to the duels when they felt like fighting.
Eden: Oh. Okay! Well Anubis also has a pet that I love, Horus. So he must be nice. I pick him.
Sapphire: Isn't Horus a tortoise? It'd be pretty cool if Anubis rode him into battle in the rings. I'd pay to see that. Even then, I think Ellisa is going to win. She beat me last week, so she's clearly unstoppable.
Eden: I love you, Horus!
Sapphire: Okay okay okay, so I've been waiting for this next match! Here's another one of my uncles, Kheldar at #6, who I just knew would win last week, versus... oh this is too good, I can barely contain my joy! Kheldar is fighting my new favorite person on the planet, Sylus Kurgen, ranked at #7.
Eden: Oh, yay, Kheldar! He was my teammate on Hydra-Foil! Go Kheldar! [pause. whisper] Is this a close match-up?
Sapphire: Nope! I mean, I guess but most important is the fact that Sylus beat Kalamere the other night and I just can't wait to shake his hand.
Eden: Oh! Wow! Sylus! That's impressive! [pause] I still pick Kheldar.
Sapphire: Understandable. Kheldar is pretty awesome in a fight, but I'll be cheering for Sylus win or lose because anyone who can face Kal and walk away alive afterwards? Yeah, they're pretty impressive. And he took my advice and didn't get shanked! Good job Sylus!
Eden: [applauds] Good job!
Sapphire: The last two fights for Round Three are in the Max Division. First we have E Smith, who is ranked at #1 and is currently Baron of Dockside, versus Myria Graz of the Wrecking Crew, ranked at #5.
Eden: Eeeeeeeeeeeee!
Sapphire: Eeeeeeee! [laughing] He's pretty cute, huh? In that older, distinguished kind of way.
Eden: Oh yeah, he's super nice! We went out to cheeseburgers once!
Sapphire: Did you now? Hmmm. I demand cheeseburgers! Let's go again after E beats Myria!
Eden: Okay! E, when you win we're going out for cheeseburgers! [muffled] He'll pay for it, right?
Sapphire: [muffled] He better. Milkshakes too.
Eden: Okay!
Sapphire: And last, but certainly not least in the looks department, we have Dimitrii Sixtus, also known as Six and ranked at #3, facing off against Gren The Man Blockman, who is ranked at #2. Six had an easy ride to this round because his opponent, the sexy Melanie, was too busy being fierce or something to fight him I think? On the other hand, Gren dealt an almost-deadly blow to Cassius to secure his spot in the Sassy Sixteen.
Eden: Oh, this one is soooo hard! Can they both win?
Sapphire: I believe they cannot. You'll have to choose. Or we can flip a coin?
Eden: I like Six and his ice blades of doom, but Gren is my teammate from Hydra-Foil, and once a teammate, always a teammate! You're in trouble, Six! Go Gren!
Sapphire: You cheer for Gren on this one, Eden, but I'm gonna stick with Six. Hey Six, maybe you want to show me your... [snickers] ice blade of doom sometime, huh? Should be fun. [bow-chicka-bow-wow sound effect] [laughing]
Eden: I don't get it. [pause] Is it time for pizza now?
Sapphire: Don't worry about it because it is absolutely time for pizza! [cheering sound effect] Catch Too Blue next week folks. Maybe Jewell will be back and she and I can make fun of all the duelers who lose in round three. Until then? Stay blue!
Eden: Should I say goodbye now? Bye!
Sapphire: Oh yeah! Bye Eden! Thanks for being with us today. [muffled] Now let's go get some of Val's chocolate.
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