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Managing Editor: Guy SavageOctober 19, 2017

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DoS: Madness
Wrapup of the 2017 Tournament
by Kalamere
May 1, 2017

Prizes!

First Place, Myria Graziano, claims the Overlord Challenge (to be issued within 1 week after the results of E's challenge to Jewell is officially completed) and a Baron Challenge Grant, to be gifted before this coming Sunday (5/7).

Second Place, Crunchem, elects 6 WoL to be applied to his record. This should bump the ogre up to Grand Master!

Runners Up, Ellisa Morgan and Baph, receive 3 WoL to their record.

Congratulations also to the Bracket Pool Winners!

Dris takes the 1,000 noble pool, edging out Anubis by vitur of being the only person in the pool to pick Myria as the champion.

Jak of Swords took top position in the 100 silver pool, tying Anubis and Dris who all finished with 77 points.

Thanks to all who participated, both as contestants and those who entered the pool. And, naturally, we cannot forget the callers who volunteer to make it all happen.

It was another successful tournament and I hope to see you all back again next year!



DoS: Madness
Too Blue: Madness Edition--Round 6: The Finals!
by Jewell Ravenlock
April 27, 2017

[Transcript from Too Blue: Madness Edition (Round 6) 27.04.2017 10:00]

Jewell: What's up, RhyDin? This is your Empress Overlady May Queen of 2017 here to bring you the news about this year's Madness Finals, which are apparently being fought tonight at midnight!

Sapphire: And, due to popular demand and an overwhelming number of fan letters, we are also bringing you Drunk Broadcasting once again! You all apparently think we're a lot funnier when we're drinking in the studio--

Jewell: Because we are!

Sapphire: It's true. We are. So we have a few cases of Badsider here with us today in addition to... [drum roll sound effect]

Jewell: The king of Badsider himself, the originator of that delicious drink, and my very first (and absolute favorite) Duel of Fists mentor: Jake Thrash!

[cheering sound effect]

Jake Thrash: Thanks for invitin' me. So, how do we do this?

Sapphire: [giggling] We drink ale and sometimes we order pizza.

Jake: That sounds easy enough!

Jewell: And press the sound buttons. [warning siren sound effect] Ugh. Except not that one. Oh! And we talk about Madness. Apparently, we're down to the final two fighters and one of them isn't me. Way to go Madness 2017! Disappointing everyone.

Sapphire: Not everyone. Just you. And maybe all those people we told to bet on you winning the tournament and then you lost... again and they lost all their money [laughing]. Did you bet on Jewell, Jake?

Jake: Of course I did. You were supposed to win me money!

Jewell: And you were supposed to make sure Xanth had an accident so I could win you that money, but that didn't happen either, did it?

Jake: You ever tried sneakin' up on him? He's wily.

Sapphire: Whoah! [EXPLETIVE DELETED] just got real! What were you gonna do Jake, break his legs? Does Xanth even have legs?

Jewell: MOVING ON! Let's talk about these finals. We've got Crunchem, seeded at number six, versus Myria Graziano, seeded at number five.

Sapphire: Wait, what!? Ellisa didn't make it through to the finals?

Jake: Ellisa got owned pretty hard by Myria. She owned Dimitrii the week before too. I was gonna say that this was a fight between some unknown ogre, and the last member of a faded memory of a team, but Myria refuses to let that memory die.

Sapphire: I blame Jewell. She won't give that memory its death blow because she predicted that Myria was going to win.

Jewell: Yes I did. AND I WAS RIGHT! GO MYRIA! WRECKING CREW FOREVER! [microphone feedback] Oops! [quieter] Go Myria!

Sapphire: Yeah, way to go Myria! [unenthusiastic] Wooo, we've now got the lamest finals ever. [balloon deflating sound effect] Jake was too nice. All we have is the sad remnants of the Wrecking Crew versus some random ogre someone dragged from the woods, equipped with a tree stripped of all its branches, and set loose in the Arena. Thank Nature you've all got us here to tell you who to cheer for and who these people actually are because I'm pretty sure most of RhyDin is scratching their heads, wondering, "There's another Graziano chick aside from Maria?" And, "I thought we hunted ogres on holiday not let them compete in our sporting events?"

Jake: Hunting ogres is like hunting boar. Except way more suicidal.

Sapphire: Soooo we should get Myria a boar spear? Or do you mean that we should give her up for dead because Crunchem is going to kill her tonight?

Jewell: I think we should buy her a boar spear when we're done here. Put a bow on it.

Sapphire: Even if we do, do you think Myria really stands a chance? I mean, she does have the higher seeding but she's facing an ogre. How good is this chick?

Jake: Other than her obsession with keepin' a dead franchise alive, Crew's members have always had a rep as players. Three Crew have now made it into the Madness Finals, and Maria won it in 2010. Still...Myria was too young to have been part of the Wrecking Crew during its heyday in TDL days, and hasn't exactly burned it up in the Arena...she's held Seaside, but I think that's it. So, maybe she feels she's got somethin' to prove to her forebears. She's gonna have spirit goin' into this. She wants it.

Sapphire: Wanting it is nice and all, and she did beat my Madness favorite and number one seed Ellisa, but she's still fighting a giant ogre!

Jewell: An ogre who beat a dragon! [sighs] So sad I missed that fight.

Jake: Beat a dragon twice. He did it last year in Madness too. If Ellisa had won, that would have made for an interestin' rematch. She and the ogre fought last year too. She was the one that sent him home.

Jewell: Twice!? I missed it both times? Where was I?

Sapphire: Probably crying in your room.

Jewell: Shush. Okay, so Crunchem beat a dragon twice and is lucky he avoided Ellisa this year because she has some super secret ogre-slaying capabilities, but what else? I think I remember him back from IFL too? And I fought him and the other one in one of Harris's apple tournaments that time.

Jake: He was on Anubis' Great of Strength team in IFL, and fought once in TDL. Nothing special about his record. I think he and Munchem are too easily distracted by food to actually be competitive. No idea how he's stayed focused this year. Maybe someone promised him a herd of sheep or something if he did well.

Sapphire: Okay, so the plan is, if you're a Crunchem fan, promise him more food to win. If you're a Myria fan... uh, distract him with food?

Jewell: Sounds about right. Either way, I think Crunchem is going to win.

Sapphire: Uh... no! I was going to side with Crunchem. You get Myria cause you chose her last week.

Jewell: Fine. I get Myria. [Pause] Wait, who does Jake get then? JAKE! Who do you think is going to win?

Jake: Me? Uh...I think Myria is the one with the experience to win this. But, I think there are union rules that forbid me from rootin' against the ogre.

Sapphire: You heard it hear first, people. Jewell and Jake are cheering for Myria, but not against the ogre, while I am Team Crunchem!

Jewell: I feel like that's not what we just said...

Sapphire: [talking over Jewell] And when we come back from commercial break, Jake is going to enthrall us with stories about the ogre union to round out our last Too Blue: Madness Edition episode in grand style [yawn sound effect] and I'm going to have another Badsider.

Jake: More ale! Always a good plan!

Jewell: And we might make predictions for yet another Overlord challenge against me! Who do these people think they are, anyway?

Sapphire: And maybe we'll talk about the When Legends Collide challenge too? You know, the one taking place in the geriatrics ward of RhyDin General?

Jewell: I can't believe you just said that [laughing]

Sapphire: I know. I'm awesome. Stay tuned, RhyDin!



DoS: Madness
Too Blue: Madness Edition--Round 5
by Jewell Ravenlock
April 19, 2017

[Transcript from Too Blue: Madness Edition (Round 5) 20.04.2017 10:00]

Sapphire: [yawn] Well, here we are again for Round 5 of Madness 2017, waaaay too sober to be talking about stuff like this. At least there's coffee.

Jewell: Which I can't drink.

Sapphire: I gave you some.

Jewell: This is cream with some coffee dripped on top.

Sapphire: Um, I also added sugar soooo you're welcome. Don't let your next boy toy stab you in the heart and maybe you can have actual coffee sometime next year.

Jewell: That's like... the worst term ever.

Sapphire: I didn't make it up!

Jewell: Let's just get on with this. Welcome to Round 5 of Madness 2017, RhyDin! We're down to the Fabulous Four. And really, aren't they fabulous?

Sapphire: [snort] They're something all right. We've got a giant ogre, a dragon thingy, and two badass women. [Pause] Actually, when I say it like that, it does sound kind of fabulous! Or like the start of some kinky fantasy novel?

Jewell: I'd read it.

Sapphire: Me too.

Jewell: So... Madness. We've almost reached an end and we've lost a lot of good people along the way. We don't usually do recaps here, but we're going to recap today because the station says we have an hour to be on air and it's not gonna fill itself. Round 4 saw us lose Xanth to Crunchem, which we predicted!

Sapphire: [cheering sound effect] Because we're awesome.

Jewell: Exactly.

Sapphire: Unfortunately, Rakeesh had to go and make us look bad by finally answering the age-old question of who would win in a fight between a dragon and a lion turtle. The answer? Not the lion turtle.

Jewell: Thanks a lot, Rakeesh! Hopefully we'll still see you next year.

Sapphire: Ellisa came through for us though! Carried forward with the blessing of two blue-haired faeries, she took out Uncle Kheld and is well on her way to making history with a second Madness win! On the other hand, Six apparently didn't mind disappointing us because he totally lost to Myria.

Jewell: Sorry Lil Blue. No Ice Blade of Doom for you [snickering]

Sapphire: I think I'll live. Let's talk about these matches.

Jewell: Ramirez Division Champion is the great and mighty Crunchem! Seeded at number six, he's crushed his way through the Baroness of Old Market, former Overlord Rand al'Tan, the amazing Xanth, who is only amazing because he beat me, and probably twenty barrels of ale and several villagers in the last week of Madness alone. Who is he up against?

Sapphire: He'll be facing the Monk Division Champion: Baphelocutis. Baph is also seeded at number six this year. He took out the Baron of Old Temple, the Mighty Matt Simon, and Rakeesh on his way to the top. Not too shabby, huh?

Jewell: Not at all! Now we get to see who wins in a fight between an ogre and a dragon! It's what I've always wanted!

Sapphire: Sounds pretty epic. My money is on the orge.

Jewell: Mine too. Go forth and conquer, Crunchem! We'll give you a few barrels of Mad Fairy Ale that I have stored as a prize if you win.

Sapphire: On the other side of Madness, we have my Madness favorite, Valmion Division Champion, Ellisa Morgan seeded at number one! Ellisa smashed her way through yours truly, former Overlord Anubis Karos, and the mighty Kheldar! Nicely done, Ellisa.

Jewell: She'll be facing the Max Division Champion, Myria Graziano of the Wrecking Crew. Myria was seeded at number five this year. She beat her way through my squire, Aki; number one seed and Baron of Dockside, E Smith; and former baron and Overlord, Six. All without a baseball bat!

Sapphire: Incredible! Who will win this showdown of the two most formidable women in Madness this year?

Jewell: I know Sapphire is betting on Ellisa to keep going, but I'm switching over to Myria for this Fabulous Four fight. Go for it, Baby Graz!

Sapphire: Whatever. If Ellisa loses, I'm blaming you.

Jewell: [laughing] Fine by me!

Sapphire: Don't forget to place your bets on the Fabulous Four Fights!

Jewell: And when we come back after this commercial break, we're going to be reviewing my awesome challenge match against the feisty and fierce Baroness of Battlefield Park last week.

Sapphire: We'll also be making predictions on the upcoming challenge for Dockside, if it ever happens, the challenge for Old Temple and whether or not Anubis likes male slaves, annnnnnd the challenge for MoonBeryl because Duel of Fists is technically hashtag best sport.

Jewell: Back in a few, RhyDin! Use your time wisely and go vote for the Empress Overlady to be May Queen!



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